Mundane Monsters
Sun-bleached bones rattled in the wind, hanging from the front porch of the log cabin. Femurs, ribs, knuckle bones, all knotted together with hand woven rope and hung from eye hooks in the ceiling of the porch. Spanish moss dripped over the edges of the porch, threatening to enclose the space with green fibrous walls. The porch was decorated simply – a rocking bench, glass tables held up with iron wrought legs, a plethora of plants in brightly colored pots on one end. The cabin was set a mile from the closest main road, a driveway of dirt and overgrown weeds showing the only way off of the property. The land around the building was clear enough although the forest encroached again less than half a mile off of each side and the small lake in the backyard warded off the trees as the murky water lapped against the shore.
A large white tent was being raised in the back yard, carefully set away from the nearest edge of the lake. Metal folding chairs were stacked against the back wall and balloons drifted contently in the wind, protesting being tethered to a stake in the ground. Round tables filled the tent, soft white tablecloths draped over their surfaces. The back screen door of the cabin banged open as a well-dressed woman came storming out, clutching a massive metal bowl filled with potato salad. She dropped the bowl onto the table and it slid a few inches before coming to a stop.
“This is wrong!” She put her hands on her hips, gold bangles clanging against her forearms. “Those chairs need to come here and that square table should be in the corner.” She gestured wildly, the bangles jangling even more.
“Lana, really? We’ve been out here for hours.”
“Well, if you had done it correct the first time, I wouldn’t be making you do it again,” the woman retorted, “Go!”
Her helpers, a dark skinned tall man, and a light skinned thin woman, groaned in unison and started dragging tables around the grass again. Lana watched them for a moment, nodding in approval before something else caught her detailed eye.
“Come here, Yvette,” Lana said, “Are you smoking again? I thought the charmed fabric would be enough…” She tugged the collar of Yvette’s shirt away from her neck and examined the pale skin. Tiny holes had appeared in the skin of her neck and Lana had been right – thin trails of smoke grew from each of them. They were warm to the touch.
“Don’t you notice them?” Lana smoothed the shirt down and Yvette shrugged.
“Too used to it, I guess,” she said, “Do we need to pull it down again so you can reinforce the charms?”
Lana shook her head. “No, I can do it from here. Jeb, help me onto the table though, I need the height.” The vampire came over and held a chair sturdy while Lana climbed from the metal chair onto the table. She kept a hand on Jeb’s shoulder and stood on tip toe to reach the top of the ceiling. Her fingertips glowed softly and the light transfused into the white fabric, streaking across it in a webbed pattern. Yvette’s skin stopped smoking and the air grew a little bit cooler.
“There,” Lana climbed back down to the ground again, “Thank you, Jeb. That should be okay now. Tell me the next time you burn, Yvette.”
“Yeah, yeah,” the younger vampire grumbled. Lana went back inside the house to finish preparing food, hoping the two of them could finish the job without any more need for corrections. She was hosting a baby shower for her dearest friends and had been fussing over the details for several weeks now. Jeb and Yvette had begun to grow tired of her endless need for help but they were her closet friends and she appreciated them for all of their help. The kitchen was a buzz of activity and Lana checked on everything twice. The hard boiled eggs were being peeled perfectly, jumping from the warm pot of water to an ice bath, and into a clean bowl. Celery and carrots were being chopped by floating knives and several massive pitchers of iced tea were being stirred furiously by wooden spoons. Lana smiled to herself; it was good to be a witch sometimes.
She looked out of the kitchen window at the tent again and chewed her lower lip. She was worried her charms weren’t going to hold like they needed to and the vampires would burn in the sun. Yvette had always been far more susceptible to the sunlight than Jeb which they could only figure was due to difference in skin color and heritage. She had spent far too much time reworking spells to permit the vampires to go out in the daylight and live fairly normal lives. She knew they were grateful for it and never complained when she got it wrong. The tent wobbled a bit in a breeze and she turned away, distracting herself rearranging plates and the food platters even though her spells had made them look beautiful. Jeb came into the kitchen, grinning as usual.
“We’re done, Lana,” he said, sitting in one of the old wooden chairs that was crowded around the round kitchen table, “And I ain’t going out there to change it ever again.”
“I’m sure it’s fine,” Lana said. The guests would be arriving any minute; there wasn’t any time to change anything at this point. She hurried some of her spells along and Jeb had to get up and start carrying plates out to the tables. Deviled eggs, vegetable plates, dripping raw meat cubes, various greenery and herbs, slivers of fish coiled on toasts, pitchers of three different kinds of iced tea, wines, beers, and certain dishes Lana only made for parties with her friends. She didn’t bother to go out and look to see how Jeb and Yvette were arranging things. It would only drive her nuts.
A large white tent was being raised in the back yard, carefully set away from the nearest edge of the lake. Metal folding chairs were stacked against the back wall and balloons drifted contently in the wind, protesting being tethered to a stake in the ground. Round tables filled the tent, soft white tablecloths draped over their surfaces. The back screen door of the cabin banged open as a well-dressed woman came storming out, clutching a massive metal bowl filled with potato salad. She dropped the bowl onto the table and it slid a few inches before coming to a stop.
“This is wrong!” She put her hands on her hips, gold bangles clanging against her forearms. “Those chairs need to come here and that square table should be in the corner.” She gestured wildly, the bangles jangling even more.
“Lana, really? We’ve been out here for hours.”
“Well, if you had done it correct the first time, I wouldn’t be making you do it again,” the woman retorted, “Go!”
Her helpers, a dark skinned tall man, and a light skinned thin woman, groaned in unison and started dragging tables around the grass again. Lana watched them for a moment, nodding in approval before something else caught her detailed eye.
“Come here, Yvette,” Lana said, “Are you smoking again? I thought the charmed fabric would be enough…” She tugged the collar of Yvette’s shirt away from her neck and examined the pale skin. Tiny holes had appeared in the skin of her neck and Lana had been right – thin trails of smoke grew from each of them. They were warm to the touch.
“Don’t you notice them?” Lana smoothed the shirt down and Yvette shrugged.
“Too used to it, I guess,” she said, “Do we need to pull it down again so you can reinforce the charms?”
Lana shook her head. “No, I can do it from here. Jeb, help me onto the table though, I need the height.” The vampire came over and held a chair sturdy while Lana climbed from the metal chair onto the table. She kept a hand on Jeb’s shoulder and stood on tip toe to reach the top of the ceiling. Her fingertips glowed softly and the light transfused into the white fabric, streaking across it in a webbed pattern. Yvette’s skin stopped smoking and the air grew a little bit cooler.
“There,” Lana climbed back down to the ground again, “Thank you, Jeb. That should be okay now. Tell me the next time you burn, Yvette.”
“Yeah, yeah,” the younger vampire grumbled. Lana went back inside the house to finish preparing food, hoping the two of them could finish the job without any more need for corrections. She was hosting a baby shower for her dearest friends and had been fussing over the details for several weeks now. Jeb and Yvette had begun to grow tired of her endless need for help but they were her closet friends and she appreciated them for all of their help. The kitchen was a buzz of activity and Lana checked on everything twice. The hard boiled eggs were being peeled perfectly, jumping from the warm pot of water to an ice bath, and into a clean bowl. Celery and carrots were being chopped by floating knives and several massive pitchers of iced tea were being stirred furiously by wooden spoons. Lana smiled to herself; it was good to be a witch sometimes.
She looked out of the kitchen window at the tent again and chewed her lower lip. She was worried her charms weren’t going to hold like they needed to and the vampires would burn in the sun. Yvette had always been far more susceptible to the sunlight than Jeb which they could only figure was due to difference in skin color and heritage. She had spent far too much time reworking spells to permit the vampires to go out in the daylight and live fairly normal lives. She knew they were grateful for it and never complained when she got it wrong. The tent wobbled a bit in a breeze and she turned away, distracting herself rearranging plates and the food platters even though her spells had made them look beautiful. Jeb came into the kitchen, grinning as usual.
“We’re done, Lana,” he said, sitting in one of the old wooden chairs that was crowded around the round kitchen table, “And I ain’t going out there to change it ever again.”
“I’m sure it’s fine,” Lana said. The guests would be arriving any minute; there wasn’t any time to change anything at this point. She hurried some of her spells along and Jeb had to get up and start carrying plates out to the tables. Deviled eggs, vegetable plates, dripping raw meat cubes, various greenery and herbs, slivers of fish coiled on toasts, pitchers of three different kinds of iced tea, wines, beers, and certain dishes Lana only made for parties with her friends. She didn’t bother to go out and look to see how Jeb and Yvette were arranging things. It would only drive her nuts.
“One of you listen for the door while I fix my clothes!” She shouted out the back door before turning to run upstairs. Her bedroom was dark and she flicked a light on. Pelts of exotic animals were draped across every available surface and a row of canine skulls hung above the four post bed. Lana kicked off her shoes once she was in the room and changed into a black dress that draped and pooled across her chest. The light fabric formed a hood over her shaved head also. She hurriedly rearranged some of her arm bangles and triple checked that none of the ones she had on had any silver. Lana touched up her lipstick and eyeliner before slipping into gladiator like sandals that she magicked to tie around her lean calves. She walked back downstairs just as someone knocked on the door. Jeb and Yvette were nowhere to be seen.
“She threw open the door and grinned, “Hey, Matti!”
“Hi, Lana. I hope I’m not too early?” Matti smiled sheepishly and embraced Lana gently. He was half a foot taller than her and nearly enveloped her in his broad chest.
“You’re right on time,” Lana said, urging him to come inside, “Jeb and Yvette are out back finishing up and there’ll be a table back there for that.” She pointed at the garishly wrapped box he held. “What did you get them?”
Matti shrugged and rubbed the toe of his boot on the back of his jeans. “It’s nothing fancy. I made a glass mobile with the evil eye. For protection you know. I’m just worried it’s too large. I always forget other people need smaller things than me.”
“I’m sure it’ll be fine,” Lana couldn’t help but smile, “I can probably shrink it a little bit if need be. Go ahead and put it out on the table though. Jeb will show you which one.” Matti nodded and lumbered into the backyard, his boots leaving dusty prints on the floor. Lana shook her head and started to close the front door but people climbed onto her porch before she could. More guests were arriving and her lawn was being covered in cars and trucks. The party was meant to be small but Lana wondered if Jeb had sent out invites to the right people. She suddenly worried that someone would show up and cause problems. She pushed it out of her mind and began greeting her guests.
There was Helen, the older woman who always looked more elegant than any one woman should. A seal fur was draped around her shoulders, accenting her deep blue dress. Lana was surprised she had even agreed to come – she was such a beach city kind of woman. There was also the gaggle of mixed couples that Lana could never keep straight – they were more Jeb’s friends than hers but they giggled their way through her house into the yard anyways, each one clutching petite presents in their hands. Then there was Ash, the masculine person who refused to tell Lana what pronouns to use so she just tried to remember to use ‘they’. He was the only one who unnerved her with his pointed teeth and deep yellow eyes but she managed a graceful smile anyways. Ash was a good friend and had done things for her in hard times. Then, last but not least, the guests of honor.
“I was getting worried you two would be lost,” Lana said, hugging husband then wife.
“Oh no, we just had a late start,” Myron said, nudging his wife affectionately, “Galene was taking her time.” Galene frowned at her husband but rubbed her extremely pregnant belly affectionately.
“Baby comes first,” she said. Lana pointed them to the backyard and told them she would be right out. Hooves clicked across her wood floor and she wondered briefly if she should be considered about the faun couple scuffing her old floors. She pushed it out of her mind and fiddled with her entertainment center and turned soft music on. Lana had had surround sound installed throughout the entire house a year ago and had it done on the outside of the house in the last six months. She smiled to herself and hurried outside to join everyone. Things were going smoothly.
The party was wonderful and Lana was extremely pleased with herself. Galene looked absolutely beautiful, a constant smile on her face and her delicate doe ears swiveling from conversation to conversation. Lana had finally sat down and Jeb had forced her to enjoy a drink. The witch was finally starting to relax.
“When are you due again?” Helen asked. She was sitting next to Galene.
“The end of June,” Galene said, “We’re hoping for twins.”
Her husband laughed and placed a hand on his wife’s shoulder, “She means she’s hoping for twins. I’d be happy with a son.” Everyone laughed politely and Galene kissed Myron’s hand.
`` “Well, why don’t we open some presents then?” Lana said, jumping up once she noticed that everyone had eaten a little something. Galene agreed and Lana brought the presents over one by one. Matti blushed when his present was open and Galene and Myron assured him several times that it was a perfect size for the nursery. The faeries’ presents were an assortment of miniature toadstools and delicate mosses which, they explained through much giggling, glowed during the night. Lana was glad Galene knew how to be gracious and the group of faeries smiled in return before disappearing to who knows where.
“And this one is from Helen,” Lana said, reading the label before passing it to Galene.
“They’re all made out of sea glass,” Helene leaned over to explain as Galene pulled out several beautifully carved seals, all the size of her palm. “Each seal comes from a different beach on the Scotland shore.”
“They’re beautiful, Helene,” Myron said, “Thank you.” Helene nodded elegantly and pulled her seal skin tighter around her shoulder.
“I wrote this up for you both,” Jeb said, presenting his own present, “I hope you enjoy it.”
“She threw open the door and grinned, “Hey, Matti!”
“Hi, Lana. I hope I’m not too early?” Matti smiled sheepishly and embraced Lana gently. He was half a foot taller than her and nearly enveloped her in his broad chest.
“You’re right on time,” Lana said, urging him to come inside, “Jeb and Yvette are out back finishing up and there’ll be a table back there for that.” She pointed at the garishly wrapped box he held. “What did you get them?”
Matti shrugged and rubbed the toe of his boot on the back of his jeans. “It’s nothing fancy. I made a glass mobile with the evil eye. For protection you know. I’m just worried it’s too large. I always forget other people need smaller things than me.”
“I’m sure it’ll be fine,” Lana couldn’t help but smile, “I can probably shrink it a little bit if need be. Go ahead and put it out on the table though. Jeb will show you which one.” Matti nodded and lumbered into the backyard, his boots leaving dusty prints on the floor. Lana shook her head and started to close the front door but people climbed onto her porch before she could. More guests were arriving and her lawn was being covered in cars and trucks. The party was meant to be small but Lana wondered if Jeb had sent out invites to the right people. She suddenly worried that someone would show up and cause problems. She pushed it out of her mind and began greeting her guests.
There was Helen, the older woman who always looked more elegant than any one woman should. A seal fur was draped around her shoulders, accenting her deep blue dress. Lana was surprised she had even agreed to come – she was such a beach city kind of woman. There was also the gaggle of mixed couples that Lana could never keep straight – they were more Jeb’s friends than hers but they giggled their way through her house into the yard anyways, each one clutching petite presents in their hands. Then there was Ash, the masculine person who refused to tell Lana what pronouns to use so she just tried to remember to use ‘they’. He was the only one who unnerved her with his pointed teeth and deep yellow eyes but she managed a graceful smile anyways. Ash was a good friend and had done things for her in hard times. Then, last but not least, the guests of honor.
“I was getting worried you two would be lost,” Lana said, hugging husband then wife.
“Oh no, we just had a late start,” Myron said, nudging his wife affectionately, “Galene was taking her time.” Galene frowned at her husband but rubbed her extremely pregnant belly affectionately.
“Baby comes first,” she said. Lana pointed them to the backyard and told them she would be right out. Hooves clicked across her wood floor and she wondered briefly if she should be considered about the faun couple scuffing her old floors. She pushed it out of her mind and fiddled with her entertainment center and turned soft music on. Lana had had surround sound installed throughout the entire house a year ago and had it done on the outside of the house in the last six months. She smiled to herself and hurried outside to join everyone. Things were going smoothly.
The party was wonderful and Lana was extremely pleased with herself. Galene looked absolutely beautiful, a constant smile on her face and her delicate doe ears swiveling from conversation to conversation. Lana had finally sat down and Jeb had forced her to enjoy a drink. The witch was finally starting to relax.
“When are you due again?” Helen asked. She was sitting next to Galene.
“The end of June,” Galene said, “We’re hoping for twins.”
Her husband laughed and placed a hand on his wife’s shoulder, “She means she’s hoping for twins. I’d be happy with a son.” Everyone laughed politely and Galene kissed Myron’s hand.
`` “Well, why don’t we open some presents then?” Lana said, jumping up once she noticed that everyone had eaten a little something. Galene agreed and Lana brought the presents over one by one. Matti blushed when his present was open and Galene and Myron assured him several times that it was a perfect size for the nursery. The faeries’ presents were an assortment of miniature toadstools and delicate mosses which, they explained through much giggling, glowed during the night. Lana was glad Galene knew how to be gracious and the group of faeries smiled in return before disappearing to who knows where.
“And this one is from Helen,” Lana said, reading the label before passing it to Galene.
“They’re all made out of sea glass,” Helene leaned over to explain as Galene pulled out several beautifully carved seals, all the size of her palm. “Each seal comes from a different beach on the Scotland shore.”
“They’re beautiful, Helene,” Myron said, “Thank you.” Helene nodded elegantly and pulled her seal skin tighter around her shoulder.
“I wrote this up for you both,” Jeb said, presenting his own present, “I hope you enjoy it.”
Galene unwrapped the package carefully and revealed a leather bound recipe book.
“Thank you, Jeb,” Galene said, obviously delighted. She began to leaf through the book and the smile from her face slowly faded and a little of her color disappeared.
“What’s the matter?” Jeb asked, very concerned. Galene held the book out and Lana snatched it up before anyone could. She looked at the recipe Galene had opened it to.
“Bloody haunch of goat,” Lana read out loud. Jeb’s eyes grew wide.
“I am so sorry!” he cried, taking the book from Lana, “I mixed up your present with someone else. I’m so embarrassed.”
“It’s okay, Jeb,” Myron said although he didn’t look at the vampire and crouched next to his wife instead. Galene was holding her belly and had her eyes shut.
“I’m going to go,” Jeb said before shuffling off, obviously very embarrassed.
“I’m sorry, Galene,” Lana said. The faun waved a delicate hand and breathed deeply.
“Really, its okay, Lana,” she said, “He made a mistake, that’s all. Let’s just move on, please?”
Lana nodded and they returned to the present unwrapping. Yvette gifted the fawns a handmade swaddling cloth to bring the baby faun home in. She managed more of a smile than a grimace when Galene and Myron thanked her. Ash presented a brand new set of metal bowls and silverware.
“They’re not really meant for the baby per se,” Ash said, frowning a bit as Myron examined their work, “I know how important it is to keep sanitized dishes around and I’ve worked spells into these so they’ll always be perfectly clean. Just dip them into cool water to active the spell.”
“That’s very impressive, Ash, “Lana said. They grunted and nodded before going to sit back down.
“Thank you so much, everyone,” Myron said, helping Galene rearrange some of the presents back into their bags. Jeb came back out and sheepishly handed Galene a different book.
“This is the right one,” he said, “I double checked.”
“Thank you, Jeb,” she said, peeking inside, “It looks lovely and your leatherwork is spectacular.” Jeb grinned at that.
Lana stood up and clapped her hands, “Well, there is one last present, from me. Galene and Myron, you have been some of my dearest-“
The fauns smiled and Lana rolled her eyes; they always laughed at deer sounding words.
“You have been some of my closest,” she smiled, “friends. You were some of the first ones to welcome me to the neighborhood, as loose of a term as that is. I am so excited that you are having your first child soon and I wanted to get something special for you.”
Galene smiled at her best friend, “If you are just trying to outdo everyone here, there is going to be a problem, Lana.”
Lana laughed, “That’s my job though. I’ll be right back.”
“Thank you, Jeb,” Galene said, obviously delighted. She began to leaf through the book and the smile from her face slowly faded and a little of her color disappeared.
“What’s the matter?” Jeb asked, very concerned. Galene held the book out and Lana snatched it up before anyone could. She looked at the recipe Galene had opened it to.
“Bloody haunch of goat,” Lana read out loud. Jeb’s eyes grew wide.
“I am so sorry!” he cried, taking the book from Lana, “I mixed up your present with someone else. I’m so embarrassed.”
“It’s okay, Jeb,” Myron said although he didn’t look at the vampire and crouched next to his wife instead. Galene was holding her belly and had her eyes shut.
“I’m going to go,” Jeb said before shuffling off, obviously very embarrassed.
“I’m sorry, Galene,” Lana said. The faun waved a delicate hand and breathed deeply.
“Really, its okay, Lana,” she said, “He made a mistake, that’s all. Let’s just move on, please?”
Lana nodded and they returned to the present unwrapping. Yvette gifted the fawns a handmade swaddling cloth to bring the baby faun home in. She managed more of a smile than a grimace when Galene and Myron thanked her. Ash presented a brand new set of metal bowls and silverware.
“They’re not really meant for the baby per se,” Ash said, frowning a bit as Myron examined their work, “I know how important it is to keep sanitized dishes around and I’ve worked spells into these so they’ll always be perfectly clean. Just dip them into cool water to active the spell.”
“That’s very impressive, Ash, “Lana said. They grunted and nodded before going to sit back down.
“Thank you so much, everyone,” Myron said, helping Galene rearrange some of the presents back into their bags. Jeb came back out and sheepishly handed Galene a different book.
“This is the right one,” he said, “I double checked.”
“Thank you, Jeb,” she said, peeking inside, “It looks lovely and your leatherwork is spectacular.” Jeb grinned at that.
Lana stood up and clapped her hands, “Well, there is one last present, from me. Galene and Myron, you have been some of my dearest-“
The fauns smiled and Lana rolled her eyes; they always laughed at deer sounding words.
“You have been some of my closest,” she smiled, “friends. You were some of the first ones to welcome me to the neighborhood, as loose of a term as that is. I am so excited that you are having your first child soon and I wanted to get something special for you.”
Galene smiled at her best friend, “If you are just trying to outdo everyone here, there is going to be a problem, Lana.”
Lana laughed, “That’s my job though. I’ll be right back.”
She slipped out of the tent and went into the house. She had sung a crib from an old ash tree that was growing sick. The tree had been pleased to know that its wood would be used for a new life rather than rot in the damp leaves of the forest. Lana had stored the crib in her office and slid the doors open. It gleamed in the sunlight from the open windows and she coaxed it towards her with a spell. The crib floated gently behind her as she began to lead it outside. A knock on her front door stopped her and put the crib down just near the back door. Lana hurried to the front, worried they had forgotten a guest.
“Yes?” She opened the door and nearly jumped out of her skin. A sphinx was sitting on her welcome mat with two golden colored kittens tumbling over her paws. She wore multiple necklaces that hung over her bare breasts and her tawny fur looked like it had been brushed a thousand times.
“Ah, Lana!” The sphinx purred, standing up and knocking the kittens off of her forepaws. “I was worried I had missed the party.”
“Uh, no, no, Sylvia,” Lana said, struggling to not panic a little. Sylvia herself wasn’t normally a problem, as long as Lana had a warning. She was afraid of cats and could work through her fear just fine if she knew that she was going to see Sylvia. Lana pointedly ignored the kittens even as they wandered into her home.
“Is everyone out back?” Sylvia asked, pushing into the house and scooping the kittens up with her massive paw. Her shoulder matched Lana’s waist and Lana’s knuckles turned white as she gripped the doorknob, trying to close the door. She managed to nod and Sylvia went out to the party without another word. Lana took a deep breath and wondered who had invited the sphinx. She managed to calm herself enough to go outside, putting the spell back on the crib so that it floated out of the door ahead of her. She could already hear everyone greeting Sylvia. Jeb hurried over to Lana.
“I didn’t know Sylvia was coming,” he said quietly, watching as Myron picked up one of the kittens to give to his wife. The kitten was rubbing its face on Galene’s chin to her delight.
“I didn’t either,” Lana said through gritted teeth, “Did Yvette invite her?”
“I’ll find out,” Jeb said, squeezing Lana’s shoulder before going to talk to Yvette.
Lana pulled the crib over to the faun couple, trying to be polite about Sylvia’s presence while simultaneously ignoring the actual cats.
“Oh, Lana,” Galene stood up with some help from her husband and put a hand on the crib, “It’s absolutely gorgeous. Did you make this?”
“Yes,” Lana said, feeling proud suddenly, “I sang it out of a tree myself.” Galene touched her hand to her lips and then hugged the witch fiercely.
“You are far too kind, Lana,” the faun said before pulling away, “Far too kind. It’s absolutely lovely.”
“You’re very welcome,” Lana managed to say, beaming. Both of the fauns thanked her a second and third time before Lana finally agreed to visit and help them set it up properly in the nursery. Lana sat down with them again, nudging one of the kittens away with her foot. It mewed at her.
“Sorry, Lana,” Sylvia whispered, pulling the kitten away, “I thought you knew I was coming.”
Lana shook her head, “No, sorry. Why did you bring them?”
“They’re gifts for Galene and Myron,” Sylvia said. Lana frowned and Sylvia laughed a little. “They’re just domestic kittens. Someone dumped a pregnant cat on my doorstep ago a month or two ago so I’m rehoming them. Kittens are great companions for children, you know.”
“Yes?” She opened the door and nearly jumped out of her skin. A sphinx was sitting on her welcome mat with two golden colored kittens tumbling over her paws. She wore multiple necklaces that hung over her bare breasts and her tawny fur looked like it had been brushed a thousand times.
“Ah, Lana!” The sphinx purred, standing up and knocking the kittens off of her forepaws. “I was worried I had missed the party.”
“Uh, no, no, Sylvia,” Lana said, struggling to not panic a little. Sylvia herself wasn’t normally a problem, as long as Lana had a warning. She was afraid of cats and could work through her fear just fine if she knew that she was going to see Sylvia. Lana pointedly ignored the kittens even as they wandered into her home.
“Is everyone out back?” Sylvia asked, pushing into the house and scooping the kittens up with her massive paw. Her shoulder matched Lana’s waist and Lana’s knuckles turned white as she gripped the doorknob, trying to close the door. She managed to nod and Sylvia went out to the party without another word. Lana took a deep breath and wondered who had invited the sphinx. She managed to calm herself enough to go outside, putting the spell back on the crib so that it floated out of the door ahead of her. She could already hear everyone greeting Sylvia. Jeb hurried over to Lana.
“I didn’t know Sylvia was coming,” he said quietly, watching as Myron picked up one of the kittens to give to his wife. The kitten was rubbing its face on Galene’s chin to her delight.
“I didn’t either,” Lana said through gritted teeth, “Did Yvette invite her?”
“I’ll find out,” Jeb said, squeezing Lana’s shoulder before going to talk to Yvette.
Lana pulled the crib over to the faun couple, trying to be polite about Sylvia’s presence while simultaneously ignoring the actual cats.
“Oh, Lana,” Galene stood up with some help from her husband and put a hand on the crib, “It’s absolutely gorgeous. Did you make this?”
“Yes,” Lana said, feeling proud suddenly, “I sang it out of a tree myself.” Galene touched her hand to her lips and then hugged the witch fiercely.
“You are far too kind, Lana,” the faun said before pulling away, “Far too kind. It’s absolutely lovely.”
“You’re very welcome,” Lana managed to say, beaming. Both of the fauns thanked her a second and third time before Lana finally agreed to visit and help them set it up properly in the nursery. Lana sat down with them again, nudging one of the kittens away with her foot. It mewed at her.
“Sorry, Lana,” Sylvia whispered, pulling the kitten away, “I thought you knew I was coming.”
Lana shook her head, “No, sorry. Why did you bring them?”
“They’re gifts for Galene and Myron,” Sylvia said. Lana frowned and Sylvia laughed a little. “They’re just domestic kittens. Someone dumped a pregnant cat on my doorstep ago a month or two ago so I’m rehoming them. Kittens are great companions for children, you know.”
“I have a hard time believing that,” Lana said.
“Hold one,” Sylvia said, nudging one of the kittens towards Lana with a gentle wing, “I promise, she’ll be good.”
“Sylvia, you know…you know I can’t,” Lana said. The kitten was wrapping around her ankle, purring softly. She could feel the vibrations of the cat’s purr on her ankle and felt her body get tense.
“Just for a minute, Lana, trust me.”
Lana gave in – Sylvia had always been a very insistent sphinx and Lana had learned to just do what she asked the first time. She slowly reached down to pick up the purring tawny kitten and it meowed in protest.
“They just like to complain about everything,” Sylvia explained when Lana hesitated at the sound. Lana nodded and quickly scooped the cat up and dumped it into her lap. It mewed again but resumed purring, kneading its forepaws into her dress.
“She likes you,” the sphinx noted, smiling, “She won’t bite, I promise.”
Lana didn’t want to touch the cat or hold the cat. She didn’t know why she was afraid of them, it was just a thing. It had made some of her friends laugh over the years but Lana had never really cared. Her life was perfectly alright with a cat, so why bother getting over the fear? The kitten mewed insistently again.
“Look at you,” Galene said, leaning over to nudge Lana gently. She was sitting again and holding the other kitten. It had curled up on top of her swollen belly and watched the faun with wide yellow eyes.
“Sylvia’s making me,” Lana said. Her hands were on the arm rests and she winced every time the kitten’s claws sunk through the fabric of her dress into her thighs.
“It’s good for her,” Sylvia said, “Galene, you’re welcome to adopt both, if you like. Siblings do well.”
Galene nodded, “We just might. I mean, if Lana doesn’t fall for this one over here.”
Lana through a glare at Galene who laughed. If anything, Lana was upset now because the kitten's magic was working on her and Lana didn't like it. Her fear of cats was irrational, of course, but the kitten in her lap was a very tiny threat and Lana watched as it curled up in and yawned fiercely, tiny white teeth clicking together as its jaw shut. Lana ignored Sylvia's proud gaze and she reached out to pet the kitten. It purred more loudly and Lana wondered if Galene was right. Perhaps cats weren't so bad after all.
“Hold one,” Sylvia said, nudging one of the kittens towards Lana with a gentle wing, “I promise, she’ll be good.”
“Sylvia, you know…you know I can’t,” Lana said. The kitten was wrapping around her ankle, purring softly. She could feel the vibrations of the cat’s purr on her ankle and felt her body get tense.
“Just for a minute, Lana, trust me.”
Lana gave in – Sylvia had always been a very insistent sphinx and Lana had learned to just do what she asked the first time. She slowly reached down to pick up the purring tawny kitten and it meowed in protest.
“They just like to complain about everything,” Sylvia explained when Lana hesitated at the sound. Lana nodded and quickly scooped the cat up and dumped it into her lap. It mewed again but resumed purring, kneading its forepaws into her dress.
“She likes you,” the sphinx noted, smiling, “She won’t bite, I promise.”
Lana didn’t want to touch the cat or hold the cat. She didn’t know why she was afraid of them, it was just a thing. It had made some of her friends laugh over the years but Lana had never really cared. Her life was perfectly alright with a cat, so why bother getting over the fear? The kitten mewed insistently again.
“Look at you,” Galene said, leaning over to nudge Lana gently. She was sitting again and holding the other kitten. It had curled up on top of her swollen belly and watched the faun with wide yellow eyes.
“Sylvia’s making me,” Lana said. Her hands were on the arm rests and she winced every time the kitten’s claws sunk through the fabric of her dress into her thighs.
“It’s good for her,” Sylvia said, “Galene, you’re welcome to adopt both, if you like. Siblings do well.”
Galene nodded, “We just might. I mean, if Lana doesn’t fall for this one over here.”
Lana through a glare at Galene who laughed. If anything, Lana was upset now because the kitten's magic was working on her and Lana didn't like it. Her fear of cats was irrational, of course, but the kitten in her lap was a very tiny threat and Lana watched as it curled up in and yawned fiercely, tiny white teeth clicking together as its jaw shut. Lana ignored Sylvia's proud gaze and she reached out to pet the kitten. It purred more loudly and Lana wondered if Galene was right. Perhaps cats weren't so bad after all.